Those who wander are followed. While wanderers believe they are alone on their journey, they are not. The love may not seem visible on the nights dark path, but it follows behind in the shadows; watching, listening, caring, guiding their next move. Wandering souls want to get lost so they can be found. They walk through the darkness knowing they will reach light. Through thorny rose bushes and poison ivy, they keep going; knowing they are not alone. They may be lost, blinded in the blackness, and bleeding from their wounds, but giving up is not an option. The wanderers know that feeling the worst emotions allows for feeling the best. My eyes open to find the vibrant Seattle sun. I suppose the sun found me. I wonder where I’ll wander next…
When I was just beginning my artistic endeavors, about two years ago, I thought I needed a website. With only few art pieces completed, I risked putting the money and time into a website in hopes to legitimize my work. My website has expanded from showing my acrylic paintings and jewelry to my writings and modeling photos. As I continue to express myself through art and other creative ways, my website expands. It is always a work in progress. It has not only been a wonderful way to consolidate my work, but it has helped me market myself in ways I would have never imagined. It was worth every penny.
I did these pencil drawings nearly ten years ago, when I was fifteen years old. Looking at them now, I question my decision to draw a water faucet and towel. I must have been a particularly strange fifteen year old! I also question my ability to complete such detailed drawings now. To be honest, I am not sure if I would be able to do so. These drawing are tiny- with a length and height of about an inch and a half. I recall these tiny drawings took me quite a while to complete. Probably longer then it took me to paint a canvas taller than myself! I suppose my paintings are so abstract, and not detail oriented, that it makes sense. It’s nice to know I could once patiently draw in detail. I just wish I still had the stamina to do so now. Time will tell…
Once upon a time, I had the patience to draw in detail. I now paint quickly and freely using acrylics. Both techniques have rewarding results, however, taking the time to carefully draw something realistically, opposed to abstract painting, is rewarding in a different way. It is amazing to see a blank sheet of paper come to life. My paintings also come to life, but I usually surprise myself. When I draw, I have a vision, whereas when I paint, I am thoughtless and am expressing myself through my emotions. Both are therapeutic for me. While drawing allows me to focus and pay attention to detail, painting allows me to unleash my emotions and express myself freely. Unfortunately, I do not draw much anymore. I am not sure if it is laziness or if I just enjoy painting more. I usually don’t enjoy coming across creepy crawlers, however, I was thrilled to discover this spider I drew many years ago. Finding this old drawing has inspired me to draw once again. Besides, the spider needs a friend!
Having the opportunity to become these different characters while modeling is truly rewarding. I can be delicate and feminine at one moment, while edgy and dark in another. It is amazing what different hair, makeup, styling, lighting and photography can create. Someone can be completely transformed.
It is rewarding when I am able to combine my passions. Being an artist, I love the process of creating and most of all, the outcome. When I paint, I completely zone out and feel somewhat possessed by my creative mind. I love colors, and I hope to live a colorful life. When I model, I also get into a zone. As strange as it may sound, this zone is not as self involved as my painting zone. As a model, I am not only focusing on myself and my desires. I have the photographer, the hair/makeup artist, the stylist and whom ever else to impress and make happy. When I paint, I am only painting for myself, and my work can either be liked or not. I really don’t care as long as I feel fulfilled. However, this is not the case if I were commissioned to paint a piece for someone or something. In that situation, I suppose painting and modeling would be very similar. They would both be work. Along with work comes reward, so I suppose it’s just deciding whether to work or to have a hobby. Both can be enjoyable and rewarding. To be truly lucky, is to love and be passionate about your work. Can you have the best of both worlds, or does work in general take away a freedom that is had with a hobby?
I’ve been modeling for a few years now and it has been a very rewarding experience. It’s amazing what goes into just a single great photo. From the perfection of hair and makeup, to the lighting, styling, and photography; it is truly an art. There can be hundreds of photos taken during a shoot, and by the end of the day, having only a couple great shots is both satisfying and rewarding. The illusion that this process is glamorous stems from the fact that the outcome presents itself as usually being glamorous or beautiful. Like creating a piece of artwork, there is mess and chaos throughout the process. What was once a blank canvas, or a blank face, has become a piece of art. What was once chaos, has turned to perfection.